Hooray for the Golden Rule

I used to wonder why it was even necessary to have the Golden Rule (Mt 7:12) since it seemed to me as a young adult, that it was much more important to figure out what someone would like or would not like that was *different* from what one would personally like or dislike done unto one. I always thought that people's innate sense of fair play would dictate that one would automatically do unto others as one would them do unto you. At least to one's friends, family and generally to anyone that one did not bear any ill will towards as opposed to one's clear enemies. In other words, I would to a complete stranger, behave politely, not shove him or her, be punctual, give him a drink of water if he asked for one and so on.

In and Oxford undergraduate tutorial, I remember sitting in some freezing room in my college with my fellow PPEists and the Greats students, debating not whether the Golden Rule was necessary in our Moral Philosophy tutorial, but how it should be understoond more finely or whether it made sense at all. In other words, one man's meat may be another man's poison so we then arrived at the conclusion that on specifics, we should bear in mind other people's different interests. For example, if I hated tea, then being offered a cup of tea which was very common undergraduate courtesy when receiving a visitor in one's room, was not a polite gesture by someone who knew me well, but would pass muster from a stranger who did not know me as complying with the Golden Rule. However in a broad sense, the Golden Rule still worked eg remembered that I hated tea, my host would also be obeying the Golden Rule by generally being considerate of my taste buds.

It was much later in life when I had friends who were persistently different in their lifestyles and persistently friends as well, that I came to understand why it was even necessary to spell out this rule: essentially because some people really do believe that it should be one rule for them and another for other people including people they considered friends or family. Let alone the next level of becoming more sensitive to how different someone else might be.

So now that I am older and wiser, I have learned to cope in more imaginative ways. I have learned to listen better to figure out what someone is really saying and to assess whether or not they have the ability to comply with what they themselves have agreed to. And to adjust around that in different ways. I certainly get a lot less annoyed this way.

In the meantime, I can entirely see why the Golden Rule is necessary. It still is a standard for many people to, hopefully, aspire to.