Pyrrhic and Trochaic Substitutions & Weak Endings

The next exercise involved writing in some pyrrhic substitutions, trochaic and weak endings to a basic iambic pentameter. Write 16 lines on any contemporary news items, so ordered Stephen Fry. It was, I found, a very difficult exercise.

The Jargon:

Pyrrhic substitutions: instead of the basic iamb di-dum, it's di-di
Trochaic: instead of di-dum, it's dum-di
Weak endings: at the end of the usual heroic (iambic pentameter line) add an unstressed syllable/word

Pyrrhic and Trochaic substitutions both score 5 points each while weak endings and emjambments score 2 points each. Points are deducted for poor style.

The results:

On the recent escape from the Whitley Detention Centre by Singapore's most wanted man and JI operative, Mas Selamat Kastari.

We seek him here. We seek him there. We seek
Him everywhere through undergrowth, through roads and
Sea. But selamat datang, mas. A ghost.

Enjambment: 4 pts
Weak ending: 2 pts
Trochaic substitutions: 5 pts
Deductions: 0

Total: 11

On the hustings in Malaysian elections:

The date's been set. The ruling Barisan
And opposition parties' race is on
"Vote!" they all cry, "It is your right you know."
But sad to say, democracy's a game
That's hard to win, in best of times. Even
A fool can win, though, of course one hopes not.

Pyrrhic substitions: 12.5
"Barisan"...I wasn't sure if this was a pyrrhic sub to be honest so I'll cut these points to half for that particular one. The other disputable one is at the end "hopes not".
Trochees: 5
Weak Endings:0
Enjambments: 4
Poor style: - 5

Total: 16

I really did have a problem deciding if some phrases were equally stressed or pyrrhic subsitutions. And I found my ear getting somewhat inaccurate after a while, rather like drinking too much wine to be able to taste it well. So if anyone disputes my scores, I would happily accept some independent criticism.

On the proposed means testing in Singapore hospitals to determine the level of subsidy for patients:

A sliding scale, a "Testing Mean", or is
It "Mean Testing"? Oops, I mean "Means". But not
The plural of "mean", I mean. A fairer means?

Trochees: 5
Pyrrhic Substitutions: 2.5 (again I'm having a problem as I think it's two words emphasied next to each other rather than a pyrrhic sub so I'm deducting half)
Enjambment: 4 pts
weak ending: 2 pts

Total: 13.5


On the recent move by the IIF to debate a banking code discourage short term risk taking at long term cost through restructuring compensation packages for bankers:

The Institute of International
Finance debates a banking code: to cut
Pay in the aftermath of subprime woe.
Can law subdue such unbridled greed so?

Pyrrhic Subs: 5
Trochees: 20
Enjambments: 4
Poor Style: -5

Total: 24

Grand total: 64.5

My total is a far cry from Stephen Fry's 106 and my pyrrhic subs aren't always actually pyrrhic subs. I wasn't that happy with the quality of the verse either but well, I guess that's why Stephen Fry's a celebrated writer and I'm not :).